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15:31 | karen
mga hayop sila, was all i ever able to mutter when i first heard of what happened to her. of course, back then, it was all hearsay. nothing was definite. and appeal to faith that she was alright, that what had been written about her is not true, was still not pointless.
accusations of her being part of centuries-old armed struggle cannot be true. i refuse to accept that it could be true. how can it be? how can she be? with her toothy smile, and less than 5' height, who would believe that she could carry a rifle almost her size, much more kill? of course it is not true. [and even if it is true, what ever happened to the rule of law?]
and that was years ago when she left to do field work in bulacan. i wonder if she finished her degree at the University. the last i heard/read of her was in storyline at anc, and from pat evang in the inquirer. she was never seen again.
yesterday was her birthday.
22:23 | sunbae
it was not insolence that radiated through her eyes that took her, one step backwards at a time, to the edge of the pool to follow her star-inside-the-moon. instead it was trust, complete and forgiving, that made her commit to the ultimate sacrifice to follow a dream gone wrong. the taste of yesterdays still lingered between sealed lips of bloody rose. then the plunge.
it was faith, complete and forgiving, to sweet morrows that may never come that calmed her as water, soft and purifying, gushed through veins and seeped through pores to claim what was her. it was faith that he would remember promises long ago spoken, and that that promises would never be broken, that made her surrender what is. and because we humans are suckers for happy endings, prayers are never left unheard--at least in the end, until the very end.
and i was jan di. i am. because you alone can fix me, because you are "that spring from which my words flow," because you are my madness, i'll ask you just one question. do you know how to swim? because i have already taken the plunge. and it is only faith that keeps me breathing despite everything.
i trust you, my vampire. i love you. i forever will.
